We can’t choose what’s on television, but we can choose what channel to watch or whether to watch television at all. This process of discerning what we can choose - what we do have control over - and what we can’t is the heart of mental health and the heart of the spiritual path.

Melody Beattie - from the book Choices

Isn’t that a wonderful quote? (great book, btw…)

It’s the idea of figuring out what you can and can’t control but realizing that there are also other choices at your disposal.

Thinking in Technicolor

Remember, the world’s not simply black and white. There are so many variations if you just open your eyes to them. Of course, this ties right into your beliefs.

If you think something is a certain way, to you, it will be. But remember, someone else can see that same thing in a different light and come up with a totally different spin on it. The idea is to open yourself up to noticing the other options at your disposal.

For instance, my husband is in construction. Has been for 25+ years. His back is injured. He has a bulging disk. Already had one surgery before we met.

He continues to work the back-breaking construction because his belief is such that doing the construction is the only way he can make money.

Dissecting Beliefs

How about we dissect a couple of his beliefs?

Yes, he can make money from personally doing the construction. But he could also leverage his knowledge and create info products to help others.

He says there are thousands of people out there already doing it. He doesn’t think it is worth pursuing.

Sound like he’s wearing some blinders to the other colors available?

Think he’s seeing in black and white only?

I mentioned creating videos. He said he’d have to get a place to create the videos, use money we don’t have to get everything together, and the all-too-familiar “no one would be interested. Too many others out there.”

It’s like talking to a brick wall. (Actually a brick wall seems a little more open!)

Another Area, Same Result

The same goes for his music. He’s an incredibly talented musician. Plays guitar, drums, keyboards and sings. He can pick up any song in a flash.

Did I mention he was phenomenal??? (and no, I’m not over exaggerating…)

I’d love to have that type of talent!

I asked him to create some background music for videos for me.

He doesn’t have money for new recording equipment. He doesn’t have the space to record. He won’t put out anything unless it’s perfect.

See a pattern here?

When you view life as black and white and never consider other ideas and choices, you severely limit yourself in practically every way possible.

You certainly hold yourself back.

Colorful Living in Action

Try this exercise:

The next time you catch yourself thinking that something “just is” and there’s no other way, sit back and see if there really is another way.

There are so many things in life you don’t have control over. But when you realize what you CAN control - and make a conscious choice - you may have just found you’re on your way to less stress and a much happier life.

Try it…

You have nothing to lose except a bit of stress.