On Life and Being Human

21 Oct

Posted by Angie as Gratitude, Misc., Personal Growth

Many times in life we realize that we've taken a wrong turn, followed the wrong path, so to speak, and before we know it, where somewhere totally different than we had intended to be.

How does this happen?
When did we fall astray?
Why were we blind to it when others may have seen it as plain as day?

I've worked hard to create blog entries that provide quality content, and focus on my readers, and not become a self diary. It's time to "come clean," for the lack of better words. I've personally been on a path that has been moving me further and further away from my dream. How this happened, I'm not quite sure. All I know is that it has happened. The past year has been a roller coaster ride and, at times, I've felt as if I was riding unsecured, just hanging on for dear life. I'm sure at times, many (if not all) of you have gone through the same feeling. How did I allow this into my life? What did I do to attract it? I found myself asking myself those questions, and in doing so, I found myself realizing that I've put too much pressure on myself to have all the answers. I sometimes fall into the trap of questioning myself to death (or just driving myself crazy!) I fought with myself because I wasn't too fond of sharing this turmoil with the world, but I found that in exposing myself once again, I may be able to help someone with their issues. I've had turmoil in this past year that has taken it's toll on me, emotionally as well as physically. It's amazing, when you have a website called "Motivational Stuff," people automatically assume you are ALWAYS feeling peachy and have all the answers. If I got stressed about something, I would hear, "Why don't you take your own advice" or "Why don't you go visit your website" or something of the sort. ~~ RANT ENSUING ~~ Why on EARTH would anyone assume that because one compiles motivational stuff and shares it that they would never get down or stressed? Does it take away my ability to be human and feel emotions? Let them walk a day in my shoes and see how hunky dory they feel... I am not allowed to mention anything about the legal stuff we're going through (custody-related) but just let me mention this one thing... The legal system in the state of Missouri is absolutely ridiculous! When it's over, I'll share and you'll understand a bit about what has been going on and why even the "motivational-type" people have their days... ~~ END RANT ~~ So, I rant and then I automatically find myself looking for the lesson in the situation because I know I've attracted all of this (or I've gotten it by default through my husband's attraction, but that's a different story!) What is the lesson for me? I continue to search. I find myself turning to gratitude because I know that's the key to putting it all together. I'm grateful for many things in my life. I sometimes forget to look to gratitude because I am human. I make mistakes. I sometimes do things the hard way. And I used to be afraid to admit it. I suffered from low self-esteem for years. I felt I had to please others to be liked. And I'll admit, sometimes those old habits creep back in. See? I'm very human. So, we humans have our moments of "realness" and I wanted to share this with everyone instead of just being scarce until I worked through it. Sure, I've been busy, but I've just not felt like writing. And that's my right. I know it's not the way to build loyalty, but I can't be inspiring to others without taking care of myself first. I started working out. I cut down on soda. I drink a lot of water. I got a new hairdo. I got new glasses. I'm just learning to take care of myself a bit more so I have more left to share. So, that's the scoop. I hope it makes you realize that it's okay to have "your moments" as long as you pull yourself right back up and do something about it. I once heard a quote that said that it doesn't matter how many times you fall down, it's how many times and how quickly you get up. (That's paraphrasing about 3 different quotes I read.) So, the bottom line is: I promise to get more motivational articles up soon, so bear with me, and remember: I appreciate you all!